“Hey you.
It’s been quite awhile…
No I haven’t forgotten about you, I’ve just been tied up, you know, with life and everything.
I just wanted to say I’m sorry, and I know just saying it can’t really make up for it, but I do really mean it.
I’m sorry for all the pain.
I didn’t realize what an amazing girlfriend you were to me, and I wish I could go back and change that.
I’m sorry for that night, the horrible things I did. You deserved better.
I’m sorry…
I can’t believe how much you’ve changed, you’re still gorgeous as ever though.
And I hope that guy treats you right, you deserve the world.
I hope he can be the man that I failed to be.
Again, I’m sorry, I just wanted you to know that..
With love,
T.M.”
06.
you wanted me to be so much that I couldn’t
you drained me
I can’t trust others
I regret kissing youI still feel the bitter acid taste
like dead batteries
we are slowly dying
and it’s you who killed us
Dear Ex boyfriend,
I think about you constantly. I think about your laugh, smile, eyed, body, mind, soul, I think about the way your face would light up when you would talk about Star Wars, baseball, or your job. You were so passionate, so inspiring, so driven. You never gave up on anything even after things got hard and that made me love you even more. I think about how protective you were of me, how supportive you were of me, how you loved me for me, and did whatever you could to see my smile. It took me a long time to realize that you did give me everything that I needed and wanted. You gave me fights over little things, great makeup sex, you were my shoulder to cry on, you tried to help me even if it wasn’t in the way I wanted, your love for me never wavered, and you never gave up. You always told me you loved me even if I needed you to say 50x a day, you always said it so I knew. Every morning when you left before I did you would hand me my elephant, give me a hug, kiss my forehead, then my lips, and then tucked me into bed, kissing my forehead one more time, then you would say “I love you” and go about your day. It was the small things like these that made me fall so much more in love with you than I already was.
I miss you. I haven’t stopped missing you and I don’t think I ever will and it makes me sick. I want to move on, I want to stop missing you, but my heart and gut are telling me not to give up, not to let go, there is still hope, and like I said that makes me sick. It makes me sick because you have moved on, you are happy, you love somebody else and here I am still loving you with all of my heart. “Once upon a time, you loved me, I loved you, but one day you stopped loving me and here I am still loving you.”
With all of that finally said, I need you to know that I want you to be happy. I want you to live your life to the fullest, I want you to love this girl in the way you loved me, appreciate her, hold her, love her, be there for her, never let her go. I want you to succeed and get everything you ever wanted out of life, push yourself in the way I know you can, the way I know that you will. Don’t give up. You can get through anything and no matter what happens I will always be in your corner. I will never give up on you, why? Because I believe in you and what you can do.
You never lost me my love, I am still here, but I have lost you and to that girl, it is the greatest thing that has ever happened to her. You are a special young man and I am proud to say I dated you. You are so kind, passionate, loving, caring, smart, funny, determined, driven, inspiring, an amazing son and brother. I am glad you came into my life and I don’t ever want you to leave. Thank you for everything you have done. Thank you for every smile, every laugh, every moment, every memory, every ounce of love, every promise, every date, every kiss, every cuddle, every fight/argument. Thank you for changing my life. I love you always.
Love,
Rachel
It feels like pure desperation… Like my skin is crawling and my eyes are burning and I just want you back in my life so badly….
And I don’t know why? Where these sudden urges come from?
Why do I still do this, even after all this time?!
It’s like I'm getting out, I'm almost clear…. and then suddenly I feel like I would do absolutely anything just to have you back in my life again.
Even for a single moment…. Just to see you, talk to you - ANYTHING!
It’s like I don’t WANT to be out, I still want to be in love with you because in my mind, loving you equates to happiness and I just want that back… just for one second.
But I have to remind myself it’s not healthy.
Loving you is not like it used to be - it's not real anymore.
It’s not happy, it’s not positive…. and it’s gone and I can’t go back.
All I can do is put the phone down, blink back the tears … and keep moving forward.
WE LIVE IN A GENERATION WHERE PEOPLE IGNORE EACH OTHER TO GET EACH OTHERS ATTENTION. READ THIS AGAIN, IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE TO ME EITHER.
